Happiness Is An Inside Job…




I had to learn this lesson the hard way.

In the past, time and time again I looked to other people to fulfill my happiness.  Whether it was a significant other, friends, family members, co-workers, drivers on the road, etc….If people didn’t “behave as I wanted them to,” I would get mad, annoyed, frustrated, hurt, sad…(fill in the emotion)…etc.  It would disturb my peace, create anguish, and fill my life with drama.

I realized that relying on others to create my happiness was a heavy weight to put on them…. AND it caused a lot of stress in my own life.  What I didn’t realize back then is that other people have their own lives, emotions, feelings, and experiences to tend to.

I believe EVERYONE is doing the best they can with what they know and where they are at in their journey.  When I expected others to “do” certain things or “act” a certain way in order for ME to be happy, I was totally giving my power away.  It would put me in a disempowered victim-mindset that kept me “at effect” to all outside circumstances.   I finally made the decision 6 years ago that I didn’t want to live my life like that any more.

When I started to awaken to my creative thought power and influence over my own life experience, I realized that HAPPINESS is an “inside” job.  Meaning… it starts within you.  Happiness is a choice that must be cultivated and worked at (at least in the beginning when you are shifting).  I started working on personal development, understanding the power of my mind and WHY I was being triggered by certain people, events, situations, and circumstances.  As I started to release old habits of thought, negative attitudes, and subconscious beliefs about myself and others, I started to create A LOT more happiness in my life… so much so that even some other people around me started benefiting.  Many of my relationships improved, my health improved, opportunities became more abundant, and I noticed more joy in my life despite what was going on around me.  My perspective shifted and so did my entire world.

Don’t get me wrong….If I need support with something, I will ask others if they can help without putting pressure on them.  I allow myself to feel and express emotion fully when something triggers me… but I do not rely on people or circumstance to have to change in order for me to heal, forgive, and choose a new thought process about the situation.

As I have turned to my inner source of happiness, I have been able to be more giving, loving, compassionate, understanding, and nurturing with others.  So it is definitely WIN / WIN for people around me as well.

For this week:

  • Write down 7 things (within your control) that make you happy
    • (ex. hanging out with friends, reading, walking, exercising, movies, business, nature, etc)
  • Every day, for the next 7 days, do one of those things on your list with joy.
  • Each day, practice the mental exercise of finding the GOLD / GOOD / POSITIVE in anything you encounter…even something that would appear to be negative.
    • FEEL whatever emotions you need to feel, but then allow yourself to guide your thoughts onto positive aspects of the situation.  Sometimes the only positive in a tough situation is that it gave you CLARITY of what you want or do not want so that you can move forward.
    • This exercise will train your brain to create a habit of positive thoughts.  Society has the tendency to cultivate a negative fear-based habit of thinking…and it’s programed into the subconscious mind.  So it is up to YOU to change that in your own mind.  Remember, NO ONE and NO THING has control over your own thoughts unless you let them influence you.
  • On 5 sticky notes, write the words I CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY! and post them around your house or office as a reminder. 🙂
  • Next ACT according to what you chose to believe about your happiness.  If you decide to be a happy person, then practice being congruent with your thoughts, words, and actions.  This is the creative force that initiates change.

P.S. For additional support with this topic, I recommend reading the book “YOU CAN HEAL YOUR LIFE” by Louise Hay.  It was hugely instrumental in my growth.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *